THE LAST RIVER MILE

I believe humans beings have a basic need for belonging. If persons lack a sense that they belong in a family, a group, or a community, that becomes a lens that makes all of life look bleak.

I’ve had my own battle with this. I’ve been blessed with a great family, wonderful relationships, good friendships, and helpful colleagues in the work that I did. Still, somewhere or somehow I developed a nagging core belief that I don’t really have a place in this world. As blessed as my life has been, I’ve wrestled with a raspy little voice saying that I really don’t matter. Specifically, I acquired the idea that my value to some other human beings depended on how I benefited them. It made me wonder if my relationships with friends and co-workers in fact were utilitarian contracts. As long as I did that which was pleasing or beneficial to another, then the relationship was intact. More of my life than I care to admit has been a self-imposed battle to prove to the world that I deserve space in it. I don’t blame anyone but myself for this framework, which requires constant dismantling. A lot of it is probably a function of my particular personality. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that once in a whole I feel like the odd person out; like I really don’t fit in anywhere.

I suspect I’m not alone. So many overt and covert messages around us reinforce the idea that our value is based on performance and how well we benefit someone else. If we contribute to our team winning, to our company’s success, to a leader’s ego, etc., then we are valuable. And on this basis we earn belonging. All of this impacts not only individual relationships, but social, economic, and political constructs as well. Say what you will, the whole current ICE/immigration struggle ultimately is about who belongs/contributes and who doesn’t.

In my view, it’s belonging that makes the gospel of Jesus the Christ so radical. Resistance to Jesus was less about doctrine than it was about whom he welcomed and with whom he spent time. Jesus relentlessly went to and engaged the outcasts of Jewish and Roman culture. He openly connected with those labeled “sinners” who officially did not belong in Jewish faith fellowship. He commitment the shameful act of entering the homes of the parasitic tax collectors working for Rome. He would talk in public with women labeled as being of questionable reputation. And such people flocked to him for one simple reason – he treated them as if they belonged. A person didn’t have to be any way, act any way, or even believe any way to earn belonging. Jesus simply gave it, loving and valuing person as is. To put a spin on a currently popular meme, Jesus wasn’t a scandal because of saying certain people didn’t belong; he was scandalous because of who did belong in his eyes.

And that’s one of the main reasons I am a Jesus-follower. He has declared total war on the lingering elements of my assumption that I don’t really belong anywhere or that my belonging is dependent on my utility to others. Ultimately, it’s one or the other – either I don’t really belong, or I do belong simply because I am loved by an infinitely loving God, made fully known in Jesus the crucified and risen. There really is no middle ground.

I’ll see you around the next bend in the river.