This may be one of the most oppressive things we can do to other human beings – assuming that because we like something, everyone should like it. It may be a major contributor to many of relational problems as human beings, if not the root of them.
It’s like this: I love rivers. I don’t mean the big continent drainers. I mean the clear-running small streams originating in hill or mountain springs. Two days ago I spent some time in a canoe on one of my favorite Ozark streams in southern Missouri. As I was paddling it occurred to me that this is my sixtieth year of canoeing or kayaking rivers. I love streams like few other things in this world. Being on, in, or near a river gives me peace, energy, and excitement all at the same time. Because of my passionate love of river floating, I know I have tried to force that same love on others during those six decades. I assume that since I like it, everybody should like it.
This is a kind of experiential imperialism. I end up assuming that I am the enjoyment measure for everyone else. That’s pretty haughty. That’s setting myself up as the standard for everyone else. It’s not that far from “I like this, so everyone should,” to “I don’t like this thing or person, so everyone should dislike them,” or “this is my opinion, so this should be everyone’s opinion.” Eventually actual conversation, meaningful interaction, and mutual forward motion end.
I can want others to love floatable rivers just like I do. Or, I can long for others to love something in their lives as much as I love canoeing and kayaking. One choice is totally different from the other. I hope I always get better at the latter.
I’ll see you around the next bend in the river.
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